Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
only if we run a train.
done.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
