I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
