I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
