I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize