I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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