What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
