We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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