Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
