Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
