we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
