he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
