fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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