In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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