she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize