Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
