You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
