Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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