i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
