Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
