dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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