p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You dont lie about slip and slides
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
