He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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