do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
