please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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