Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I AM VODKA MAN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
