Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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