Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
