My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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