there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
