Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
