I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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