...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's always time for handjobs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
