Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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