The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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