that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm always down for nudity.
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