oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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