went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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