Define "chronic" masturbator.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
