"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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