ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
