I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
