plz talk dirty to me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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