So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have aggressive nipples.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
