heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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