the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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