i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
