You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
