Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am available for nakedness
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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