my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The ass gains better be worth it
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