im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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