he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
