they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
