What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
