yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
