They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
