Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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