I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
