It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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