I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
