i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
