my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
