fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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