last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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