girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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