she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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