found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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