This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
