it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
