He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
